Your portfolio should have a screensaver
I'm a millennial which means I lived through the dial up era of the internet. My first computer was a desktop E-machines that we had in the living room. I remember unwrapping a fresh AOL CD so I can get free dial up and logging into Instant Messenger. The internet was painfully slow and weird back then, and my favorite part was seeing the loading states and screensavers. Back then screensavers served a purpose, they were meant to help prevent the burn in of images on your monitor. The constant movement of the screensaver helped prevent burn out of any single part of your screen.
I've been nostalgic for the early internet for most of my adult life and it's influence is unironically present in a lot of side quests I decide to take up. So given that this is my slice of the internet, I decided to bring back screensavers and add a bit of a twist to some. I know portfolios are meant to be high polish, and exude all the buzz words like craft and taste the moment you look at them, but I say lets have some fun while we're being show ponies.
If you like any of these, download the package and feed it to your agent so they can make it your own.
Flying toasters
Berkeley Systems developed a screensaver software program called After Dark. In the early 90s they released After Dark 2.0 which included this Flying Toaster screensaver. The artwork always reminds me of Global Village Coffeehouse aesthetic of the 90s. You know the earthy, slightly industrial, big coffee mug look and feel of every Panera and Starbucks from the 90s and early 2000s. Oh how I miss you ...
I made a pixel version of the screensaver to keep in line with my love of pixel art. Each frame was generated using Nano Banano and then hand edited to keep consistency between frames. Turns out that Nano Banano is not very good at keeping the toaster consistent. While it was funny seeing the toaster change slightly every turn, it grew increasingly frustrating, so I created a small design tool to edit the frames. You can read about it here.
Hang in there
When I think of today's trying times I think of the 1971 poster of a kitten hanging from a tree for dear life. This felt fitting given how everything feels lately, including the impending world take over from our AI overlords (if you're OpenAI or Anthropic, I'm kidding).
I decided to make my own version of this sweet perseverant kitten mostly because Victor Baldwin's photograph is still copyrighted. My agent tells me we are using a "real Floyd–Steinberg error-diffusion pass rather than a filter that looks like one" which I'm going to assume is very impressive.
For the caption I wanted to have some fun with it. I was nostalgic for all the really weird Powerpoint animations I would abuse as a teen, so I wanted the letters to be subject to gravity and do all kinds of wacky movements. I hope you find some levity as this kitten appears on your screen.
Carmen Online
I needed to include my version of the AOL dial up connection dialog. I had to rebrand it as Carmen Online of course. I can still hear the screeching sound effects from trying to connect. It's engrained in my head just like the Empire Today jingle. Kids these days don't appreciate how they'll never have to fight with their siblings over the landline connection. It really built character.
cmachines
This is an homage to my first computer running on Windows XP. I wanted to make my version of the Bliss wallpaper) but incorporate the scan lines my monitor used to have. The internet peaked with Windows XP.
DVD
This set wouldn't be complete without the bouncing DVD screensaver. Before streaming and right after VCRs, we had DVDs (lets ignore Blu Rays). Every player had it's own version of this screensaver but this is the most memorable one. Watching the logo bounce from edge to edge was therapeutic.
A few suggestions
- No sound effects! These are screensavers and it's super annoying trying to find a tab that has audio playing in case it goes rogue.
- Any input should dismiss the screensaver.
- I suggest you make each rotate randomly so the user always gets a different one.
It's your slice of the internet, have fun with it!
We're arguably in another weird phase of the not only the internet but technology as a whole. It's hard to stay sane and while quirky screensavers are not going to solve anything, it's really nice to see someone's personality come through when visiting their digital home. So go add a screensaver to your site. You can use these as a base or make your own.